Adultery is one of the top causes of modern divorce. Even though most people take a vow to remain faithful when they get married, some spouses find fulfilling that promise too difficult. They cheat, possibly wasting household assets to do so.
Sometimes, the signs of adultery are obvious. You won’t have many questions about why your spouse suddenly starts staying out all night or coming home with proverbial lipstick on their collar. Disheveled clothing, unusual smells or left-behind makeup could all be signs of an affair that a spouse can’t miss.
Other signs of an affair starting can be more subtle. Recognizing the warning signs of potential infidelity will help you protect yourself and also take the right steps to hold your spouse accountable for their unethical behavior.
- They lock down their devices or social media accounts
Your spouse took a great picture of you the other weekend, and you want to send it to a friend. You grab their phone to send it to yourself, only to discover that they have recently added a password, pin or biometric lock.
Without any warning or discussion, their device has effectively become private, which means you have no way of knowing whom they talk to or what they do. They might also do something similar on social media, including changing a password after having always granted you access in the past.
Security measures on their own could be the result of many concerns, but if you notice they intentionally lock their phone every time they set it down or they quickly move to shield the screen from you when you are in the same room, those could be signs that your spouse has started doing something that they know they should not be doing on their phone.
- They lose weight, exercise more or invest in their appearance
If your relationship has reached that point where you are comfortable with one another, you might not put the same effort into your appearance that you once did. It is common for happily married couples to wear comfortable clothing around the home instead of stylish outfits. They may also gain weight or stop spending as much time on their hair, makeup and overall appearance.
If your spouse has recently started working out, investing in a new wardrobe or otherwise prioritizing looking good, they might be doing that for someone other than you.
Once you notice warning signs of infidelity, you may not necessarily want to confront your spouse. Instead, you may want to pay closer attention to your relationship and interactions. If you discover evidence of infidelity or you determine that you have drifted too far apart to save the relationship, you may want to be the one to take the first step and file for divorce.